Why Getting Real this Christmas is Essential for Your Health

Several years ago I learnt in an alarming way just how what we think can affect our health both mentally and physically.

I remember quite clearly one Saturday morning, in early December I woke up with that rising feeling of panic.  “ Oh no, just 20 Days left until Christmas and there is so much to do”.  I made a mental list, presents to buy, Christmas stockings for the girls.  Cards to write and then there was the house to prepare for.  “Oh and I may as well just freshen up the kitchen with a lick of paint, ” I said. To myself.  As a full time working mum it felt daunting. Perhaps this sounds familiar to you?

Mind over matter

We had invited our close family over for Christmas, 16 in all.  In my mind it had gathered in to a big ball of panic. Later that morning, whilst driving to buy the emulsion I suddenly had to pull over. Experincing an excruciating  pain in my chest and the entire side of my left side had gone completely numb.  Sometime later, I was able to drive back home and remember staggering  up the steps to the house to have a lie down.  Thankfully I recovered after a rest and having a good off load to my husband,  and reassessing the essential priorities.

Keeping a sense of perspective over and during the Christmas period is about mind over matter.  It is well over a decade now since I refused to let Christmas get to me and literally dictate my health.

What had occurred I later discovered is that our subconscious mind, which is responsible for not only our emotional and creative thought, is also responsible for our physiological responses.  My subconscious had simply had enough, letting me know by seizing up, going on strike, in a frightening way. In addition when we are stressed we fail to breath properly, limiting oxygen to our brains and to the rest of our bodies.

I still hear, (mostly)  women say “ Are you ready for Christmas? Even though it may still be weeks away.  My reply is now, “ yes,  will be on the day”  and yes I always am.  How can you be ready  for it until the 25th arrives?

Christmas for me is about enjoying the lead up and the preparation. Sharing with my nearest and dearest, and that means, the washing up, shopping and the cooking.

Here are my:

6 stress tips for the perfect easy Christmas

1. Avoid any shopping centres after the 1^st December. Shopping centres can be a huge drain on your energy levels. Go local and discover the delights of small bespoke shops. Ideal little stocking fillers can be found at farmers markets, or if you have a keen eye, delights can be had at charity shops. Local shopping reinforces the feel good factor. Place attention to detail – a beautifully wrapped present looks expensive, unique and carefully thought about. Or alternatively order in time on the internet.

2. When you are overwhelmed bring things back in control. If you have run out of time prioritise.   In my experience this is female phenomenon.  You rarely get men winding up over the domestic side of Christmas.  Perhaps women have an unrealistic sense of proportion.  We can become controlling, neurotic and a misery to all those around.  Learn to share the load, tell the family how you feel and ask for help.  If you are unable to ask for help, and feel their efforts are not good enough, you are setting yourself up for long term misery.  It’s a time of good will, people like to feel loved, liked, and cherished we all do.

3. Keep it simple… People remember the emotion, the feeling, the experience years afterwards, rather than how many courses or the quality of the presents. The best events are when the hosts are relaxed and up for fun. I used to get really hung up on cleaning the entire house from top to bottom. I am much more casual these days.   Focus on only the rooms that people see. We used to play sardines, by the end of the evening everyone was covered in dust where they have been hiding under the bed! No one noticed because it’s dark, and had a drink or two! Go beyond making everything too perfect, the fun and good cheer is far more important

 4. Keep a sense of perspective. Reframe how you feel about your nearest and dearest…we can’t choose our family. Forgive and move on from past hurts. Write yourself short juicy powerful statements reinforcing that your mother in law or whoever, (no longer has any effect on you. Write in the positive and present tense. What we ask for is what we get.

5. If you feel yourself winding up like a tight spring, or feeling you can’t breathe – take 15 minutes out. Lie down in a quiet place and focus on your breathing, lovely deep relaxing breaths, breathing into your stomach and deflating on the out breath. In your mind take yourself to a lovely garden or a golden beach and whisper to yourself relax, relax, relax. Works like magic.

6. In the kitchen or while cleaning play soothing, inspirational music, or crank up the volume and start the party early to the Rolling Stones!

So get real these this Christmas and keep a sense of perspective,  enjoy, relax and benefit.  Whatever your religious beliefs about Christmas it is a celebration, a time for cosying up and celebrating. Whether it’s the birth of Jesus or the winter solstice, or whatever you choose …after the 22^ndof December we pass the shortest day and from there on the days are getting longer. View it as a time to sit around the table and play silly games , with your nearest and dearest and come from a place of love.

For more stress solutions check out:

 How a short course of hypnotherapy can help manage your stress

Why sress is slowly killing you

Easy breath awareness exercise

How to feel comfortable saying no

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New Meditation and Visualisation Day

Join Nicola Ménage for a one day retreat of meditation and creative visualisation.  This is an opportunity to focus on you.

Benefit from a day of quietening your mind to help reduce stress and enjoy being in the moment.

We focus on a variety of different meditation, creative visualising tools and methods to help you get into the zone. You will learn how to access a deep, relaxing state and connect with your inner self to help you achieve greater balance and deeper clarity.

This day is for you if who have an interest in calming your inner voice and looking for more direction and peace of mind.

• September 8^th 10.00 am – 4.00 pm
• Situated in the beautiful, creative environment of Swerford near Chipping Norton, Oxfordshire OX7
• Cost: £75
• Early bird offer:  £65 if you book by the 20th August 2012
• Fresh seasonal lunch and refreshments included

Weather permitting we will meditate outside by the lakes and in the grounds to connect with nature and soak up the peacefulness.

How to Book:

Places are limited book now to reserve your place – Email:  nicola@nicolamenage.co.uk

Full payment required at time of booking.

If you would like to discuss the day in more detail and find out if it is absolutely right for you, call Nicola on 0845 833 9733.

Nicola Ménage is a leading cotswold Motivational Hypnotherapist helping people take control of their own future calmly, safely and quickly. Her sense of fun, passion, sensitivity and energy comes through in all of her work.

 

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The most important person in your life is…?

Shouts of “ the dog”, “the kids”, “my partner”, “my horse” and a lone voice called out “myself”,  when I  recently asked the question  “who was the most important person in your life”, to a roomful of family lawyers attending a stress solutions seminar.

Hallelujah correct answer is, YES YOU!  The majority of my work involves working with people who are in a constant state of worry and stress. Many are experiencing excessive pressure from balancing work with a home life and fulfilling relationships. As a result many are suffering acute stress symptoms, commonly insomnia, diabetes, indigestion, migraines obesity and drinking too much alcohol.

As a member of the core training team for the Stress Management Society, Neil Shah founder of the Society,  encourages us to use this very tangible metaphor likening stress to a bridge that has more and more buildings, tankers, double-decker buses and the like placed upon it until it starts to creak, groan and eventually collapse. When cracks begin to appear what we require when we are experiencing excessive stress is support mechanisms. Basically our bridges collapse when DEMAND EXCEED RESOURCES.

Frequently to illustrate the point I get clients to see themselves as a battery cell.  Asking them to point where on their body do they feel their energy is currently located.  Usually they respond that it is right down by their ankles.  It is crucial that we look after ourselves and keep our batteries topped up to the very top.  Otherwise our bridges do come crashing down.  You can view it as taking responsibility for shoring and strengthening your own bridge.  One of the first steps of managing the stress that many of us are under is to begin to look after ourselves and bring everything back into control.

How to Top up your batteries

So how exactly  do we keep our batteries topped up, simply by attending to our own basic needs?  Remember  the golden rule you come first…by running on half empty you will be running like an inefficient machine or a sailing vessel at half mast trying to catch the wind.

Take frequent mental  breaks to centre yourself- I teach self hypnosis, meditation and mindfulness techniques to aid instant recharging of your batteries.

Top up at the end of the working day with pleasurable healthy things that feel good to you mentally and physically i.e. join a gym,  football, Pilates, yoga, running, rugby, walking, etc, go to the cinema, theatre, join a choir. Cook a delicious meal, play with the children.

Laughter is an instant top up –  when our batteries are running on empty we get stressed, anxious and become ineffective. Laughter releases the feel good chemical Serotonin.  Too much anxiety and stress releases cortisol the chemical hormone that keeps us in a flat unmotivated frame of mind. Switch on to some comedy and laugh.

Listen to your body – when you are ill, thirsty, or hungry do something about it. Aim to eat food that tops up your energy levels. Fresh seasonal food with a healthy balance of raw and cooked vegetables is very good.   Cut down or cut out alcohol, sugary drinks and  processed food.  Processed sugar contributes to increased stress levels. Aim to go to bed early and top up with good quality sleep.

Ditch or limit the use of the blackberry, iPhone and mobile, when away from work. At the end of the working day block all work emails and calls…remember it is your relaxing time.  Technology is a great tool and we are in danger of it taking over and infringing 24/7 in our lives.

Take a wonderful deep breath – when you start to feel overwhelmed and everything is whirling out of control how you breathe is essential. We rarely breathe properly… practice your breath control. Take a deep, deep breath breathing all the way down to your abdomen and fill up your lungs with air and then SLOWLY let it out…repeat this three or four times. Then again take a deep breath and fill your lungs with air and then hold the breath at the top before releasing very …very …SLOWLY.

Claim it and take responsibility to get the balance back in your life – make the time to get back in control.

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Power Up Your Happiness – How are you dealing with the news this August?

What’s your take on the news this August?

We are currently experiencing worrying times as the global economy lurches from one financial crisis to another, threatening our livelihoods,  investments and our sense of security. On top of that the home news this week focuses on the devastating riots across our country.  Rocking the foundations of the communities involved, leaving the majority of us saddened, appalled and full of questions and opinions on the state of the nation.

My impression of the media is that they love a good opportunity to focus on the doom and negative aspects of any current situation. Stirring up readers and viewers, increasing fear and hysteria.  For that reason I limit how much of the news I expose myself to.

How I deal with unsettling news is to acquaint myself with the bare facts, reading opinion and comment on Google news, choosing what I want to read to get a balanced view from the broadsheets. To achieve a sense of perspective I limit myself to the news just once a day.  An essential is also to practice meditation on a regular basis,  helping me to keep a sense of proportion of the bigger picture, avoiding sliding into a state of  pessimistic despair.

Optimistic types fare better than pessimists

Current scientific research shows that optimists fare better than pessimists. Optimistic types respond better to stress, they are healthier and are more confident, succeed better at work and achieve more of their personal goals and are happier.  Optimistic types have a tendency to be more creative turning events presented to them as beneficial opportunities.

I am not advocating the “ fake it until you make it” mentality, or always looking on the bright side of life.  To face our darkness sometimes is fundamental to enable us to see the light. Experiencing challenging times is part of life, it plays a vital  part of finding and moving forwards to becoming stronger and wiser.

Clients work with me because they want to take more control of their lives, to be and feel  happier.  A key factor is how they view themselves.  Many people lack a sense of optimism and feel that life runs them rather than the other way around. Optimistic happy people tend to have more control over their lives rather than coming from a passive place of victim.  There is much written about the sought after state of happiness in fact there was even a BBC series several years back which you may recall “ Making Slough Happy”.

The Happiness prescription

Happiness is part of the human condition that we all strive for, when we are happy we feel younger, healthier, sexier, more confident, and more successful. We cope better in any given situation.   It is our ultimate goal;  to be happy is to enjoy peace of mind and freedom from want and distress, ultimately a preferred state of mind than being unhappy.

I have practiced meditation and self-hypnosis for nearly a decade, along with countless others  I recognise the benefits these practices bring, rather than relying on other people or material goods to bring about this internal state of happiness.   Self Hypnosis, meditation and mindfulness are  ever-increasing tools that  people are turning to, to help them to stay calm, feel at peace and stay in control of changing times.

Internationally renowned writer, doctor and scientist, Deepak Chopra says in the Happiness Prescription:

“ Meditation is simply a practice to allow the mind to quieten down – to get to a place of inner silence.  The practice isn’t just about relaxing, it is to be mentally alert.  Meditation is a  way to tune into our intentions, our goals to get in touch with our inner essence.”

By changing our mental state we become more conscious of the now, helping us feel more in control which in turn affects our personal happiness.  By focusing on the now we are centered in the present moment, why worry about the “what if’s” and dwell on the past?  For now is a given, we are experiencing this moment.  Too many people live their lives and gallop ahead worrying about what might happen, in many instances it doesn’t happen.  All that we achieve is that we become anxious, unsettled and unhappy.

When we are happy we are more able to deal with situations quicker and easier and stay calm and feel in control in uncertain times.

For more information about how you can achieve greater balance and happiness in your life  register now  for my free Power Up Your Happiness programme including regular articles, meditations and downloads.  Simply type the word Happiness into the message box.

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What’s in a name?

Train your brain to reduce depression, anxiety and lack of confidence

I was interested to read in The Times last week that Harvard Medical School is about to publish a research paper reporting that meditation can have a significant measurable effect on the brain within just two months. Such scientific proof is music to my ears.

I see hypnosis and meditation going hand-in-hand, sharing many similarities. Both are successfully applied to a variety of symptoms, particularly addressing physical and psychological symptoms associated with stress, anxiety, depression and sleep problems, confidence and lack of self esteem.

One of the growing buzz words enjoying popularity in the corporate world, and in the NHS, is the practice of mindfulness.  As a professional hypnotherapist I am always interested in new trends.  However the more I look in to the subject, the more my understanding is that it’s not so new.

All three practices focus on connecting with the “here and now” rather than ruminating and worrying on the past, the future, what might be.  To focus and enjoy the moment through the ability to access a deeper thought pattern releases a completely different psychological response, allowing you to access a greater sense of calm and control. 

What is self hypnosis?

Since 2003 I have practiced and taught self hypnosis and personally enjoy the tremendous benefits. Those who practice self hypnosis report feeling calmer, sharper, more alert and in control physically and mentally. They enjoy the feeling of being on top of things, and being able to manage depression and that state of unhappiness and hopelessness.

The actual word hypnosis is derived from the Greek god Hypnos,   the word Hypnos actually meaning sleep. The ancient Egyptian pharaohs built marvellous “dream temples”. A person would travel to the temple, bringing with them an offering for the god.  They would lie down and then the priest would lead them to dream an answer to the problem or question they had in their mind. Perhaps the first self-hypnotists?

Hypnosis is the communication between the two levels of our mind: the conscious and the subconscious (unconscious).  Our conscious is the questioning, intellectual rational part of the mind containing our short term memory.  

Our brain is just like an ice berg, approximately 25% of our brain is the conscious mind and the remaining vast expanse is our subconscious mind, responsible for our creative and emotional behaviour.

Our subconscious mind is in charge of our actions, doing without thinking.  Subconscious behaviour and reactions to situations are formed from our strong beliefs, perceptions and our social influence.  So when people say “But that’s the way I’ve always done it”, we know it’s simply a pattern of behaviour.  Many of our behavioural patterns are useful, others we may wish to change.  Self hypnosis is the most powerful and efficient way that I know of doing this.

Many conditions can respond well to daily self hypnosis, though it is essential to get a good medical diagnosis first.  For example, it could be catastrophic to reduce a stomach ache or a headache if in fact these symptoms are the life-saving alarm signals to something potentially life threatening.

Train your brain-improve your life

When the appropriate use of self hypnosis is mastered it isn’t only a remedy for health problems and bad habits it can also dramatically improve our lives.  By training our brain through the practice of self hypnosis, we can provide a vivid place in which to rehearse ways of dealing with situations.

Which is why we can dramatically increase our confidence. Sports men and women frequently improve their game and performance through self hypnosis.  Through the use of entering a deep peaceful state of pure relaxation the subconscious is receptive to imagining any outcome.  The key is to focus on a desired outcome, rather than what you don’t want. 

What we think is invariably what we get

In this post recession Britain exercising mindfulness and self hypnosis can significantly improve how we come at life, seeing opportunities rather than focusing on the negative. Learning how to revolutionise the way you think, quickly and easily learning how to flood your body and your brain with physical and mental energy, to be able to come back from any set back to win.

Exercise

Find 5-30 minutes where you won’t be disturbed. Unplug the phone. Pull the car over in a lay by.

Practice listening to your body. Be aware of your breath, relax and release, let go of any tension. Be aware of your hands, feet, neck shoulders.  Imagine yourself in a place perhaps close to nature, where you feel safe (real or imagined).

Use all your senses including smell, touch, and taste. Really feel. Imagine yourself there.

Stay in the moment and enjoy the peace, a feeling of calmness. Take three deep anchoring breaths.

Practice increasing the time by 5 minutes every day.

Take regular time to immerse your self with the sounds in nature. Listening to the rustle of trees or birds singing is scientifically proven to your reduce heart rate, blood pressure and stress levels.

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