How to to improve your waistline, your wealth, health, and your relationships

Case Study: How through hypnosis Harry reduced his weight, improved his relationships and his health.

(names and details changed to maintain confidentiality)

Recently  I worked with 48-year-old Harry who is a senior operations manager who signed up for the virtual Gastric Band Weight reduction package that I offer. It is an effective program whereby through the power of hypnosis and suggestion we skillfully let the subconscious mind think that you have actually had a real gastric band placed around your stomach.  Helping you to eat smaller portions, resulting in effectively controlling and re-educating your stomach to eat less, but eating sufficiently to maintain a healthy body and mind.

During the first consultation it soon became apparent that apart from being 3 stone overweight Harry was chronically stressed.  Not only was he overweight, his drinking habits were out of control and his sleep patterns were seriously disturbed.  He was also suffering from high blood pressure.  Harry’s work life balance was affected by feeling out of depth at work and a belief that he had to continually prove himself in order to remain in his job.  As a result he rarely exercised, stayed at work longer than anybody else and was frequently the first to get into work.  His social life was nonexistent. Clearly if Harry didn’t take responsibility to do something about his chronic stress he would soon die as a result of a stress related illness.

Harry’s diet comprised:

•  8-10 cups of coffee and tea a day to keep his energy levels up.
• For breakfast a grabbed sandwich and a coffee, and a snatched sandwich or snack for lunch.
• Throughout the day he grazed on crisps, doughnuts and peanuts, bananas and fruit to keep his morale and energy levels up which frequently dipped mid morning and again around 4 ish in the afternoon.

On his eventual return from work in the evenings he and his partner would heat up a microwave meal and relax with a bottle or two of red wine in front of the television.  His relationship with his partner was  tense and non-communicative. Clearly not good and lots of scope to educate Harry on preparing and planning good healthy nutritious food to maintain a high level of energy and introduce an achievable exercise plan.

It all came down to the chronic stress, or  “stress overload”  that Harry was locked into, that was systematically sabotaging his health, relationships and well-being.

The Stress Solution

With a course of hypnotherapy and back up phone mentoring I helped Harry to learn to  relax, to manage his fear of losing his job and to boost his self-confidence.  As a result he felt more in control and understood why he was eating and drinking in order to make himself feel better.   By getting back a sense of being in control we balanced his emotional relationship to food and eradicated his destructive habit of eating for comfort.

Over a period of 10 weeks he has successfully dropped his weight by 21 lbs, and learnt how to plan for regular meals and small healthy snacks during the day to keep his energy levels up and his stress levels down.

When we looked at Harry’s diet it composed mainly of eating comfort food… he had developed a sweet tooth eating biscuits, doughnuts and large quantities of wine.  Under hypnosis I suggested to his subconscious that his life wasn’t sweet enough and what would he like to do about it?  The reply came back that he wanted to make himself feel better and to treat himself.  From then on the “work “ we focused on was what would make Harry feel good about himself.  Part of the answer lay in Harry liking who he was and starting to develop more of a social life and reframe the destructive relationship he had with his mother who had been an alcoholic.  Harry as a small child was constantly criticised and verbally abused, never feeling he was able to please his alcoholic dependant mother.

Harry was able to move forward by changing his emotional behaviour to comfort eating and learning to take control of putting his  own needs first.  He is well on the way to achieving his goal of dropping his excess 3 stone and maintaining a balanced healthier life.

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The Symptoms of Stress

We hear the word stress a lot these days, and there is not a week that goes by without an HR report that lands in my email box reporting how  stress and low morale is affecting the workforce.  As a nation we are experiencing a collective stress as we are fed daily news bulletins on climate change, global recession, cut backs and redundancies.

Furthermore Compounded by the fact that we have high expectations and can lay on the pressure more and more.  We aren’t invincible and inevitably at some point we reach boiling point where we begin to feel more and more out control displaying inevitable cracks until it ll comes crashing down and we make ourselves ill.

During the week, to acknowledge National Stress Awareness Day, I attended an illuminating seminar led by Neil Shah, founder member of the Stress Management Society, I liked his metaphor of stress as a bridge that has more and more buildings, tankers, double-decker busses and the like placed upon it until it starts to creak, groan and  eventually collapse.  When cracks begin to appear what we require when we are experiencing excessive stress is support mechanisms.

Several years ago I experienced a very unpleasant period of stress in my life.  It was a time when I was juggling several things.  I had just taken on a new developmental role, in an area that was new to me, I was on a steep learning curve.   In order to make a go of it and succeed during this period I was working up to 50 -60 hours a week, I can only describe it at the time as a horrible experience I barely slept and felt I wasn’t managing very well in any area of my life.  As a  working mother my family life suffered my health and also my confidence.  In hindsight it was a valuable experience, it taught me to value my family my health and my priorities.  It made me look long and hard at what was I attempting to prove to push myself so hard.

There are times when we all pile on the stress, and periodically I still do push myself and take on too much beyond what is reasonable.  The key thing is I recognise it when it is  happening and have the strategies to stop, re-stock calm down and go at it in a much more agreeable focused pace.

What are the symptoms of stress?

Stress can manifest in a variety of symptoms, ranging from physical to psychological and behavioural, we can all experience these to a varying degree.

Physical symptoms include:

An increased heart rate, insomnia,  frequent tiredness, a change in breathing patterns, headaches, dizziness, indigestion or heartburn, sudden weight loss or gain and nail-biting

Psychological symptoms include:

Anxious thoughts, irritability, low self-esteem and an increased lack of confidence, an inability to concentrate, feeling fearful and unable to cope.  Stressed people also experience difficulty in making decisions, feeling negative with a lack of interest in life, alienation-feeling alone, a loss of creativity, withdrawal from family, friends, colleagues and work, intense frustration and confusion.

Behavioural symptoms to look out for are:

insufficient sleep, increased use of drugs or alcohol, changes in appetite,  argumentative, loss of sense of humour, avoiding situations, changing habits, teeth grinding, neglect of physical appearance, and a lack of concentration and working late.

Here are some articles tips and ideas on combating stress.

Stress no laughing matter- quick stress buster tips

How do you reward yourself at the end of the day?

Effects of redundancy How to cope

Tips on how to survive and thrive  through redundancy

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Transform those winter blues

Transform Those Winter Blues

By the time you read this the UK will be just about adjusting to the clocks going back one hour to Greenwich Mean Time.

I  recently read with interest a reference to a study in the British Medical Journal that claims staying on British Summer Time may encourage us to be more active in the evenings; which in turn could positively affect people’s mental health and well being.

The BMJ report came after claims that the lack of daylight may be a contributing factor to a much referred to condition known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) – a type of winter depression that affects an estimated 7% of the UK’s population every winter.

SAD, is a type of depression that affects a person during the same season each year. If you get depressed in the winter but feel much better in spring and summer, you possibly are experiencing Seasonal Affected Disorder.

I have successfully worked with a number of clients who have had SAD finding it very difficult to function in the winter season between November and April.  They particularly experienced problems during December, January and February.

I can empathise having had similar feelings myself.  Prior to training as a hypnotherapist I experienced all of the above.  Both my daughters were born in the winter months and I used to find  raising sufficient enthusiasm to orgainise birthday parties at the end of November and the beginning of January very difficult.   All I wanted to do was hibernate for 4-5 months under the duvet.  I felt grumpy, tired, listless with dark depressive thoughts.

If you have SAD, or the winter blues you may experience some of the below:

• Depressive tendencies, grumpy, moody, or anxious.
• Lose interest in your usual activities.
• Eat more and crave carbohydrates, such as bread and pasta.
• Gain weight.
• Experience a decrease in sexual desire.
• Sleep more and feel drowsy during the daytime.

What causes SAD?

Specialists think SAD may be caused by a lack of light linked to the shortened daylight hours of winter. Limited light can upset your sleep-wake cycle and other natural body rhythms.  It is also claimed to cause problems with the feel good brain chemical called serotonin that affects your mood.

When our eyes detect darkness, a small gland in the brain called the pineal releases melatonin, which establishes sleep cycles. When we detect light, melatonin production subsides and its cheerier hormonal sibling, serotonin, takes over to promote wakefulness and help improve our mood.

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How do you reward yourself at the end of the day?

Or … Has your relationship with alcohol gone beyond pleasure?

I regularly work with individuals who are highly intelligent talented people who are working full steam ahead.  Generally these men and women are high achievers. They come from corporate backgrounds and from higher management.  Some of them are business owners, living and breathing the chase of their success.

Amongst this group an increasing proportion are experiencing problems with drink, and the good thing is that they have recognised it and want to take control of their habit.

These men and women all share a desire to relax at the end of the day.  Alcohol has become a signal that the day is done. It’s time to unwind, to switch off.  The issue that this brings about though is that it is easy to lose the ability to know when to stop and this impacts the quality of their life.

Is this ringing any bells for you?

Do you wake in the morning feeling muzzy and tired, or even  full of remorse and angry with yourself for hitting the bottle the night before.  Maybe you nurse a sore head and keep down feelings of nausea and inertia up until lunchtime.

At first those initial few drinks help you to unwind, and perhaps you find you are able to communicate better with partners, family and friends.  Most people that I have worked with report that business, family and intimate relationships however eventually suffer. Whilst on a roll, several drinks later, they often become argumentative and say too much that is hurtful and wounding.  Sometimes it can lead to aggression and depression.

Frequently clients with excessive drinking problems express that they have a lack of communication with their partners, key colleagues, a general feeling of boiling over with frustration, of not  being listened to.  This contributes to low self esteem and confidence issues, depression and anxiety.

The reason for this destructive drinking habit lies in several factors:

• The inability to be able to allow one’s self to stop and to relax without the aid of an alcoholic drink.
• Feeling caught in a trap. Frequently people report that they are in the wrong job, scared to move on in the current financial climate, feel anxious and depressed.
• A lack of engagement with the aims of the company or organisation.  Under fulfilled, not consulted and undervalued in their work place.
• Insufficient resources to do the job well leave people with a feeling of worthlessness, frustration and lack of motivation.
• Interestingly a large proportion feel disconnected spiritually and disengaged from their work place, families and local communities.

The cost of all this is far more than the cost of a bottle of wine or spirits. It is far reaching, impacting our mental and physical health, our relationships and risking the loss effectiveness at work.

Tangible Reasons to stop drinking

As human beings we are all benefit driven … if there isn‘t a benefit then why stop a habit for good? To be able to stop we have to have tangible reasons.  A tangible reason is one that we can identify, see how we can make it happen and then make it happen. 

To replace a habit like excessive drinking, smoking or over eating we have to have extremely solid reasons that are watertight and give us the incentive to control our destructive habits. 

The simple yet highly effective “four steps” technique that I have developed over the past seven years successfully helps these high achievers to put themselves back in control, to discover something even better than alcohol, to reframe their attitudes to alcohol and to successfully move on.

It is every company’s ideal to have a strong, healthy, productive, motivated workforce.  When you have these, the company is cost effective efficient and dynamic. Staff turnover is low, absenteeism is minimal and the company thrives. The Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development estimates that the average absence cost per employee per year was £692 in 2009. And the British Heart Foundation says that firms promoting healthy, active workforces report lower absence rates … and other benefits too, from improved employee productivity, morale and retention, to positive effects on stress and mental health. Such benefits can lower per employee absence costs and boost productivity and employee satisfaction.

I would like to hear how you choose to relax at the end of your day.  Whether it involves a glass or two, three or four or have you discovered more satisfying alternatives?

I am also interested in hearing from you about what it is during your working day that spurs you to have one drink too many?

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