Hypnotherapy Helps You To Go Easy On The Stress

As a Hypnotherapy practioner working near to Banbury, Oxfordshire, I get to work with genuine people who are stressed and feeling out of control. This is just a gentle reminder that today November 6th is National Stress Awareness Day. There are several contributory factors that get our stress going.

One of the biggies is expectation. Expectation of others, expectation of an event and importantly our expectation of ourselves.  We expect to produce more than is practically possible. We expect to achieve more of ourselves. This leads on to disappointment and a feeling that we aren’t good enough. Which in turn knocks on to how we speak to ourselves. When we feel we are not good enough we use words and phrases like I should, I’m so stupid, ridiculous, crazy, disappointing, lacking, I’m stressed, try harder blah blah blah.

From a neurological point of view what that actually does is trigger the stress chemical in our brain known as cortisone. Too much cortisone can make us feel and keeps us in a flat, uninspired, demotivated and depressed frame of mind.

To quickly remedy this it is necessary to:

• Feel and be more understanding and easier on yourself.
• Be more realistic and mindful about how much you can achieve on a daily basis.
• Keep things in perspective and proportion

Be Your Own Mind Coach
Remember that approximately 2 out of 5 people experience the feeling that they are not good enough. Many of the clients I work with have what is termed as the imposter syndrome. They feel they are in their jobs, by the skin of their teeth. That they are fraudulent and will get rumbled any minute.  It is a common psychological condition.
To help change your long term ingrained thought process change the way you talk to yourself. Use nurturing and motivating words and phrases, such as easily, naturally, comfortably, happily, achieve, successfully, dynamically, inspiring, productive, calm, peacefully etc.  By using these words they will help to coach and reframe your mind to believe in your skills and abilities in a more realistic way.
When we use positive language we release the feel good chemical serotonin which floods our system and gets us into a happier, more uplifted frame of mind. Essentially helping us to get more of a grip on life.

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Hypnosis calms and reframes
Hypnosis is excellent for stress related conditions Over the past 10 years I have specialised in working with clients to resolve their stress related anxiety, confidence issues, and insomnia, to get back in control to enjoy a happier fulfilled lifestyle.
By entering a deep relaxing state we can change how you feel about yourself and reframe with a dynamic hypnotic suggestion that calms, relaxes and improves how you feel about yourself and your distressing out of control behaviour.

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Three Easy steps to feeling better

1. Take frequent time out away from your desk. Stretch and drink plenty of fresh water. Cut right back on tea and coffee

2. Go outside and experience the great outdoors for at least 15 minutes during the day.

3. Walk and breath to get as much fresh oxygen as possible. Oxygen helps to calm you down.

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Keep on Top
Keep on top buy the CD
Learn how to feel calm and power up your working day with this powerful 30 minute hypnotic mind programming CD.
For just £12.95 incl. p&p you can take charge of how you feel at work forever.
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or a free confidential chat just give me a call:  0845 833 9733  or email nicola@nicolamenage.co.uk

Learn how to avoid running out of steam;

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Harness and maintain your energy at work take away a range of practical tips.Free places still left for the seminar How to Stay Calm Be More Productive, have fun leave with a new mindset goo.gl/Po6Oe

Is the smiley face just a nice thing to

Is the smiley face just a nice thing to end your twitter post what do you think? 🙂 http://ow.ly/hhPxU

Why Getting Real this Christmas is Essential for Your Health

Several years ago I learnt in an alarming way just how what we think can affect our health both mentally and physically.

I remember quite clearly one Saturday morning, in early December I woke up with that rising feeling of panic.  “ Oh no, just 20 Days left until Christmas and there is so much to do”.  I made a mental list, presents to buy, Christmas stockings for the girls.  Cards to write and then there was the house to prepare for.  “Oh and I may as well just freshen up the kitchen with a lick of paint, ” I said. To myself.  As a full time working mum it felt daunting. Perhaps this sounds familiar to you?

Mind over matter

We had invited our close family over for Christmas, 16 in all.  In my mind it had gathered in to a big ball of panic. Later that morning, whilst driving to buy the emulsion I suddenly had to pull over. Experincing an excruciating  pain in my chest and the entire side of my left side had gone completely numb.  Sometime later, I was able to drive back home and remember staggering  up the steps to the house to have a lie down.  Thankfully I recovered after a rest and having a good off load to my husband,  and reassessing the essential priorities.

Keeping a sense of perspective over and during the Christmas period is about mind over matter.  It is well over a decade now since I refused to let Christmas get to me and literally dictate my health.

What had occurred I later discovered is that our subconscious mind, which is responsible for not only our emotional and creative thought, is also responsible for our physiological responses.  My subconscious had simply had enough, letting me know by seizing up, going on strike, in a frightening way. In addition when we are stressed we fail to breath properly, limiting oxygen to our brains and to the rest of our bodies.

I still hear, (mostly)  women say “ Are you ready for Christmas? Even though it may still be weeks away.  My reply is now, “ yes,  will be on the day”  and yes I always am.  How can you be ready  for it until the 25th arrives?

Christmas for me is about enjoying the lead up and the preparation. Sharing with my nearest and dearest, and that means, the washing up, shopping and the cooking.

Here are my:

6 stress tips for the perfect easy Christmas

1. Avoid any shopping centres after the 1^st December. Shopping centres can be a huge drain on your energy levels. Go local and discover the delights of small bespoke shops. Ideal little stocking fillers can be found at farmers markets, or if you have a keen eye, delights can be had at charity shops. Local shopping reinforces the feel good factor. Place attention to detail – a beautifully wrapped present looks expensive, unique and carefully thought about. Or alternatively order in time on the internet.

2. When you are overwhelmed bring things back in control. If you have run out of time prioritise.   In my experience this is female phenomenon.  You rarely get men winding up over the domestic side of Christmas.  Perhaps women have an unrealistic sense of proportion.  We can become controlling, neurotic and a misery to all those around.  Learn to share the load, tell the family how you feel and ask for help.  If you are unable to ask for help, and feel their efforts are not good enough, you are setting yourself up for long term misery.  It’s a time of good will, people like to feel loved, liked, and cherished we all do.

3. Keep it simple… People remember the emotion, the feeling, the experience years afterwards, rather than how many courses or the quality of the presents. The best events are when the hosts are relaxed and up for fun. I used to get really hung up on cleaning the entire house from top to bottom. I am much more casual these days.   Focus on only the rooms that people see. We used to play sardines, by the end of the evening everyone was covered in dust where they have been hiding under the bed! No one noticed because it’s dark, and had a drink or two! Go beyond making everything too perfect, the fun and good cheer is far more important

 4. Keep a sense of perspective. Reframe how you feel about your nearest and dearest…we can’t choose our family. Forgive and move on from past hurts. Write yourself short juicy powerful statements reinforcing that your mother in law or whoever, (no longer has any effect on you. Write in the positive and present tense. What we ask for is what we get.

5. If you feel yourself winding up like a tight spring, or feeling you can’t breathe – take 15 minutes out. Lie down in a quiet place and focus on your breathing, lovely deep relaxing breaths, breathing into your stomach and deflating on the out breath. In your mind take yourself to a lovely garden or a golden beach and whisper to yourself relax, relax, relax. Works like magic.

6. In the kitchen or while cleaning play soothing, inspirational music, or crank up the volume and start the party early to the Rolling Stones!

So get real these this Christmas and keep a sense of perspective,  enjoy, relax and benefit.  Whatever your religious beliefs about Christmas it is a celebration, a time for cosying up and celebrating. Whether it’s the birth of Jesus or the winter solstice, or whatever you choose …after the 22^ndof December we pass the shortest day and from there on the days are getting longer. View it as a time to sit around the table and play silly games , with your nearest and dearest and come from a place of love.

For more stress solutions check out:

 How a short course of hypnotherapy can help manage your stress

Why sress is slowly killing you

Easy breath awareness exercise

How to feel comfortable saying no

What is the Flow Zone?

I have thoroughly enjoyed taking time out this week and reading Roy Palmer’s book, Zone Mind, Zone Body — How to break through to new levels of fitness and performance.  Sports coach and Alexander technique teacher,  Palmer noted the seven characteristics described by athletes who experience being in the Zone:

1. They are totally absorbed and focused on the activity.

2. They experience an inner clarity and understand exactly what is required of them, knowing their skills are perfectly matched to the task.

3. They have a sense of ecstasy, being outside everyday reality.

4. They describe “being in the moment” focusing completely on the present; unaware of time passing but conversely, they have a sense of slowing down time.

5. They feel a deep passion for the activity, driving them on to higher levels of performance.  This experience provides further inspiration; it becomes self-perpetuating.

6. They have a sense of serenity, no anxiety, no ego, consequently no fear about performance.

7. They experience no sense of effort.  The activity becomes almost easy and feels like they are “getting out of the way” of their own performance.

This state isn’t just relevant to sports competitors; it is also practised across the world in the creative and performing arts and increasingly taught to anyone interested in improving their performance through self-hypnosis, NLP and creative visualisation programs.

The benefit of being in the zone is that stress and the anxiety of performing vanishes, leaving us free to function without fear of failure and being judged. Palmer demonstrates in his book that it is not about working and training harder that determines our success, it is about working and training smarter to reach the zone. Our performance then takes care of itself.

Being in the zone is about changing our comfort habits, to venture into the unknown, and to find out more about ourselves.

Cast your mind back to an activity when you were in the flow zone, perhaps the activity was at first difficult or challenging.

Some examples are:

• Playing an instrument, totally absorbed in the rhythm and music
• In a creative state, painting, sculpting, sewing
• Writing a report, when the  words flow easily onto the page
• Tackling an overgrown garden, mowing the lawn up and down, strimming and weeding

The elements present to get into the flow zone are when we are faced with an interesting challenge, and we are target focused and can let go of the outcome.  The ego quietens down and we then give up on effort. When we give up on effort, we can remove ourselves from our daily stress.  As a result we become more productive, enjoying greater clarity resulting ultimately in achieving our set target.

Easy Breath Awareness Exercise

Try this easy Breath Awareness Exercise to help get you in touch with the moment.

‘Being in the moment’ can be described as focusing completely on the present, no sense of time, completely interacting with your environment having a complete sense of self without anything becoming a distraction.

Be in the moment – just sit and be.  As you have heard me say many times “we are human beings not doings”. Practise the following exercise for 5 minutes, then 10, increasing up to half an hour every day:

• Start by looking around you, notice how your body feels, objects and colours in the room, sounds around you.

• Close your eyes and let your eyelids become heavy; imagine that you have a coin over each eye lid. Picture your eyeballs sinking down inside your head.

• Place your attention on your breath – picture as you breathe in that you are blowing into a balloon, visualise if you can the balloon inflating and then on the out breath  deflating…nice easy natural breaths, establish a rhythm with an easy natural pace.  You may even envisage  the colour of the balloon, just allow your imagination go with this.

• Then after the 5^th  breath hold the breath and then very, very slowly let it go…and on the  out breath allow yourself to relax.  Repeat holding the breath 3 more times.

• Then place your attention on your hands, your finger tips, be aware of your pulse, the blood rushing to your finger and thumb tips.  Maybe they feel warm or cold or there is a slight tingling sensation.  Take your time and then  place your attention on your feet, again be aware of how your feet feel.

• When you are ready open your eyes and once more look around you and notice if your awareness to  your environment has changed.  You  may feel your vision is more in focus, colours are brighter, sounds are  clearer.

This effective exercise helps to focus the mind to achieve greater concentration and release stress.

New Meditation and Visualisation Day

Join Nicola Ménage for a one day retreat of meditation and creative visualisation.  This is an opportunity to focus on you.

Benefit from a day of quietening your mind to help reduce stress and enjoy being in the moment.

We focus on a variety of different meditation, creative visualising tools and methods to help you get into the zone. You will learn how to access a deep, relaxing state and connect with your inner self to help you achieve greater balance and deeper clarity.

This day is for you if who have an interest in calming your inner voice and looking for more direction and peace of mind.

• September 8^th 10.00 am – 4.00 pm
• Situated in the beautiful, creative environment of Swerford near Chipping Norton, Oxfordshire OX7
• Cost: £75
• Early bird offer:  £65 if you book by the 20th August 2012
• Fresh seasonal lunch and refreshments included

Weather permitting we will meditate outside by the lakes and in the grounds to connect with nature and soak up the peacefulness.

How to Book:

Places are limited book now to reserve your place – Email:  nicola@nicolamenage.co.uk

Full payment required at time of booking.

If you would like to discuss the day in more detail and find out if it is absolutely right for you, call Nicola on 0845 833 9733.

Nicola Ménage is a leading cotswold Motivational Hypnotherapist helping people take control of their own future calmly, safely and quickly. Her sense of fun, passion, sensitivity and energy comes through in all of her work.

 

“A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do “

“A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do”

John Wayne is often credited with saying this in “Stagecoach” reportedly what he actually said is “Well, there’s some things a man just can’t run away from.”  How apt for the London 2012 Olympic

Stop running and face yourself

If you bring forth what is within you what you will bring forth it will save you.

If you do not bring forth what is within you it destroys you.

Jesus- Book of Agnostics

In my motivational hypnotherapy work I frequently work with men and women, in denial, who just cannot ignore their true self any longer.  Frequently their dis-ease comes out through addictive behaviour such as over eating, alcohol abuse, long term relationship break ups and serious physical conditions. My role as a hypnotherapist and facilitator is to assist the journey of self discovery; it is a gentle and empowering process for the individual, helped along through hypnosis by reconciling past hurts and long held misconceptions.

I have recently discovered Poet Mary Oliver I think her Poem The Journey explorers the pain we can sometimes experience in order to find out who we really are.

The Journey by Mary Oliver                                                                                        

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you kept shouting

their bad advice

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt

the old tug at your ankles.

“mend my life!”

each voice cried.

But you didn’t stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left the voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognised as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do-

determined to save

the only life you could save.

Towards the Light

Towards the Light

Shiny and smooth the palette waits to be adorned like a lady prepares to be dressed and preened by her ladies in waiting.   Sensual in its nakedness a hand caresses the oval-shaped board, lovingly expectantly. The painter prepares, attentive, his visual senses on full alert.

Twinkling sharp palette knives limbered up, ready now…mixing big fat worm like pigments freed from their tubes, cadmium yellow, orange chrome, magenta, cobalt blue, ochre’s, titanium white … Over and over he gently smooths and kneads. Scraping and squeezing minute drops of medium from the pipette, it is a slow rhythmical meditative practice, until like magic, delicious appetising colours explode onto the worn polished surface.  A cocktail of emotions flow as he prepares himself to capture nature’s perfection; anticipation, anxiety, self doubt, and adrenalin.

The palette ready now before him, is mouth-watering, he is lustful, no time to lose, insatiable like a salivating dragon. The late evening Provence sun is still hot, warming his roughened walnut brown skin.

The yellow ochre primed canvas, as hungry as a wolf, feeds greedily, absorbing the paint.  Hurry, hurry  the light is changing rapidly, as the giant tequila sun is sinking, sinking, dropping down beneath the great purple mountains. The artist is also primed, limbered up like a ballet dancer, ready and fired up his powerful hog brushes take over, quickening their pace, frantically etching strong definitive shapes capturing the foreground in deepest Prussian blues.

Giant ink blue-black shadows cast from the olive trees are momentous now, they cast their drama over the soft golden hues of the dusty ground, he lives and breathes colour like no other.   The warmest of oranges, rich bright cobalt blues, reds along with soft blues, pinks, and chalky greens appear on the greedy canvas.

Quickly now the almighty sphere of fire is descending, sending this beautiful yellow ochre sun-drenched paradise to sleep as dusk fast approaches within the closing hour.

Time is of the essence – the odd grunt and exclamation fall from his lips breaking the silence mingled with cries of delight. He holds his brushes like a fencer holds his foil on guard, adrenalin pumping through his body from head to toe… to the tips of his fingers.

The hog hair bristles scratch and stab, they glide and dance in the thick oozy deliciousness of the thick malleable oils. As the scene nears completion, so do the brushes change their dance, small quick little movements, layering and layering applying thick textured oozy glistening oils creating an irresistible roughness, rhythm and depth.

He stands closer, intently now, one hand on hip, strong shoulders square on to the canvas adding more detail, he advances back and forth for a better perspective.  It is a courtly dance ritual, purposeful steps and strides backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards.

All is quiet, the light is gone, the bird song begins to falter and silence descends along with the setting sun.  The constant chorus of cicadas signalled by their conductor comes to a gradual end.

Stillness descends; the palette like the painter is spent. He is quiet, at peace for now.  Reflective on the canvas before him stilled by the cooling dusk, he too can now rest.

The pigments reflect and illuminate as they merge and flow harmoniously together juicily upon the canvas.  Brushes, thick, fat and rude with colour, rest once more uniformly together, exhausted at peace.

The painter like a Buddhist is rooted in the now, time is frozen, his thoughts pure.  This artist’s journey has been one of darkness and illumination; he knows deep within his core that he can no longer deny what is within him, for if he does it will destroy him.  He has no choice but to pour out his soul upon this canvas.  The process is spiritual, meditative and healing, his constant companions; pain, deep anxiety and  self-doubt travel alongside bliss and fulfilment.

Several months on …2000 miles later, the picture secure within its smooth cream and gilt frame hangs in the gallery.  Sophisticated, elegant London art lovers stand in twos and threes before the painting entitled “Towards the Light”.  From fluted glasses they sip champagne, casting unabashed admiring glances towards the canvas.  Before them a joyous flirtatious riot of pure “look at me” sensuous colour transcends admirers in their imaginations to the heady heat of Provence, to dream, to escape the self-imposed shackles of their lives invitingly and to be free.

Nicola Ménage    France  July 2012